That spring

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Being brave was never easy.

It’s another spring time and it marked down the days I have been here alone. I never been home, not even once for the one year I studied abroad and now I have started my Master degree at the age of 20. The loneliness falls in most of the nights and how much tears have been dipped into the pillows, silently. How many beers, wine, and vodka to define my emotions? None. All the chaos happened around, I was just running away.

I was a runner.

I was so good in running. Not to be specific how much love I have it in sports, also a runner in all problems that I have faced. I was so scared, I couldn’t even face the life and death because you have no idea how much unbearable for an emotional person, but bad in expressing her feelings. She never explained much, even though she looked cheerful all the time. You can even see sparks in her eyes but deep down she has all tears hidden behind. Messy and complicated pretty summed up my whole personality.

No one can ever foresee the unplanned events.

One thing that I have learnt in my life is you can never predict and well-planned every single thing, even if you wanted to. You can’t force to be and you can’t force to make. A year of independence made me a person that stop running from problems. I remembered clearly that one fine day turned stormy and cloudy. I was on the run to catch the sunlight with the beautiful Cinderella gown, and when it turned cloudy I couldn’t get to hide under a roof and I lost everything in an instant. It’s so hard to keep walking because I could feel that even the wind was laughing at me, for a person who dreamed and believe in fairy tales. But I did it. For the first time, I stood up strong and decided to become a real queen in the reality, not just a princess.

Life-changing decision.

Instead of focusing on building my own fairy tale world, I know I have to become a better person. A princess could only live in a dream, but you can make yourself become a queen. Being brave wasn’t easy, being strong and tough from the inside out is even harder. There are lots of patches along the road and I transferred to someone I used to admire. I fought to become the person I wanted to be and now I am proud of myself. It was hard, and it’s still hard, speaking about which I still have a lot going on in my life, but at least I don’t run away from problems. To love someone, first, you have to love yourself. Speaking of love which is a very powerful word. By learning about the word love, you’re being able to do a lot of impossibles. Because of love, I become someone I always wanted to be- confident, fearless, strong, smart and full of passions.

Do not scare of some changes.

I take all these into a real depth, thinking about all those things happened between.. me. It ought to be the start of an understanding that adoration once in a while leaves for a reason, however never leaves without a lesson. Well,being wonderful is more than what number of individuals you can get the opportunity to take a gander at you, or how others see you at a solitary look. It’s about what you live for. It’s about what characterizes you. It’s about the profundity of your heart, and what makes you one of a kind. It’s about being who you are and experienced your life sincerely. It’s about those little eccentricities that make you, you. Individuals who are just pulled into you in view of your pretty face or pleasant body won’t stay close by until the end of time. Be that as it may, the general population who can perceive how lovely your heart is will never abandon you.

Let happiness comes by.

Speaking the truth about what’s privilege, and also what should be changed. Speak the truth about what you need to accomplish and who you need to turn into. Be straightforward with each part of your life, dependable. Since you are the one individual you can always rely on. Look your spirit, for reality, so that you genuinely know who you are. When you do, you’ll have a superior comprehension of where you are presently and how you arrived, and you’ll be better prepared to recognize where you need to go and how to arrive.

Decisions are hard, but sometimes when you lose something doesn’t lose it all. Beware that you will always earn something back in the return, be patient. Do not scare of the sudden changes, but always see the good in everything, you know it will worth it in the end. I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

“To decide is to walk facing forward with nary a crick in your neck from looking back at the crossroads.”- Betsy Cañas Garmon

I believe- true love is worth waiting, no matter how long it takes.

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Thank you for making me to understand what is love.


I’m glad, that I stood up bravely and made the crazy decision for once.


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